The Good Bye

The day which I was dreading all along has finally come. The day when you would say good bye to me. Destiny does love being cruel to me. It just takes me to the dizzy heights of bliss; only to let me fall into the deepest gorges one can think of. I thought I had found love - the elusive love that I always wanted to have. Despite being apprehensive all along on whether I would be able to walk through that path, I was forced to believe that its possible. I walked along that beautiful route which were laid with stunning views and flowers, and I started thinking to myself if indeed there can be some happiness that I seek in my life.

All along there was this fear that lingered deep inside me - am I being too happy? As they say, the higher you go, the deeper the fall. Apprehensions were stepped aside as I started believing in the myth around me. I thought there was a future - a future where I could find that little bit of love; that little bit of happiness. But nay... good things don't last for ever in my life. Its a pattern; and it has become such a predictable pattern in my life. And it just had to happen.

We were in two different cities separated by hundreds of kilometers. But I never felt that you were away from me. I felt we were together all along even while separated by this distance. But now, you are moving on. To a different country - too far away where our times don't align at all. You keep trying to convince me that things would still work out - anyway we were not in the same city earlier. But one difference now though - earlier I could hope that I can see you once in a while; touch you, feel you, if we we really wanted it. But now, that is not going to happen. You are just too far away from me.

I am a shattered man today - a man whose hopes are all but gone. Destiny has been so cruel that I cant even cry aloud at this point in time. The only place I can do that is while being under the shower - when the water from the shower would wash away my tears so that they are not to be found out. And I did just that tonight. I stood under the shower tonight for a long time so that my tears could flow down without having worry about being caught. I gagged myself with a towel so that my sound doesn't escape out. I feel lost; I feel defeated. Wonder why my eyes are blurry as I type these. Guess there are far more rivers of tears to flow down before I can get hold of myself..

But good bye my love as you move on to greener pastures. And Thank You. Thank you for all those wonderful moments you gave me. It was like the best dream ever as long as it lasted. But then with dreams there is this problem - it comes to an end when you want it to continue on more than ever before...